Preseason? Preseason!

It’s that time of year again, folks! Prepare your bodies for the inevitable rush of feeling that comes along with every football season, as its once-gentle trickle back into our spheres of consciousness has been relegated to a modest flood of NFL overload, weeks before the season even formally begins. What with the juggernaut that…

Tastes & Samples: Neither Free

About this time ten years ago, I stood around a computer monitor with the other members of my then-band, looking at potential houses in the Los Angeles, CA area.  We were all drunk with confidence about our band’s future, knew that we were sure to make it, be huge, sign a deal, and tour in…

Returns in Red

Believe it or not, the Blackhawks are a frustrating team to root for, due to reasons acceptable, arguable, and stupid.  Then again, as many non-Chicago fans remind me with reckless abandon, the Blackhawks have been the class of the NHL since 2010 and the core of the roster has three Stanley Cup banners hanging in…

Shock & Aww: Trubisky ushers Bears into new era

Just as Cleveland fans were wiping their brows in relief that their beloved franchise safely selected Myles Garrett, Bears fans suddenly recoiled when news broke that they, not San Francisco, would be picking 2nd overall.  The shock was only bolstered when it was revealed the cost of moving from pick 3 to pick 2: Bears 2017…

Butt of the Joke

The other day, my morning began with the usual firing up of my computer, opening TweetDeck, and seeing what the world is up to.  Typically there is little new or exciting going on, but on that particular morning, I was treated to an extremely unusual sight:  A photo of a naked Jay Cutler staring out…

The Bargain Bin Bears

On March 8th, the Bears found themselves armed with $51 million in cap space, and with glaring weaknesses all across the roster, many fans were rubbing their hands in anticipation, waiting to read headline after headline of one big Bears acquisition after another.  Pace’s own words fueled the fire: “We’re going to be aggressive and…

Requiem For a Dream

I wish I had something new to tell you about Jay Cutler.  Something unique or insightful or moving that would make some remember him better or convince others that it wasn’t his fault that things failed here in Chicago.  But I don’t have those words, and I can’t honestly say Jay wasn’t partially to blame….

Mike Glennon: The definitive Bears Quarterback

Mike Glennon isn’t much to look at.  He’s got the vacant stare of a Best Buy employee and the anechoic, uninteresting voice typical of career athletes.  His sparse, balding pate would be more appropriate on a guy named “Ray” or “Bart,” just getting done with a roofing job and heading to the local watering hole. Glennon, only 27…

Sitting, Wishing, Waiting.

When Ryan Pace took power as General Manager of the Chicago Bears, one of his first actions was to unceremoniously dispatch Brandon Marshall to the New York Jets. Marshall by that point had become something of a franchise pariah, irritating anonymous teammates and making a spectacle of himself in the midst of a disappointing season. …

Of Diogenes & Mechanical Keyboards

  MX Reds:  Why, MX Black, do you reside amidst this squalor?  Your barrel reeks of your very waste, and yet you remain. MX Blacks:  Carry on, fool.  I have chosen to be as I am, and so I shall always remain! MX Reds:  Yet we are so similar.  We are inseparable, would you disagree?…

Illinois is okay, I guess.

I was born in Illinois. I’ve lived my entire life here. Chances are good I’ll end my days being an Illinois resident, barring some changes in the next 8-9 years. I don’t know how that makes me feel. At least not yet. When I was a kid, we had to do an exercise – draw…